SOME DAYS ARE HARDER THAN OTHERS

I'm sitting in the boy's room, watching them play, as I try and contain myself from internally combusting. It's just been one of those days. Most of the times, blogs are only happy spots. You only see the happy, exciting times that commence in people's lives. Nothing of the hard times, struggles, or rough patches that occur once the laptop closes.
 And there isn't anything wrong with that. But part of my goal, of starting this blog, is to be open to share when I am struggling with things. Maybe it is relatable to someone else, that is currently struggling with the same things I am. Or maybe, someone else has gone through these things, and can offer advice or empathy.

I like to tell myself that I am capable of doing everything. And I'm not. It's hard some days. I wake up, dreading to exit the warmth of my bed, and slip on that super mom cape that the boys so often recognize as my normal attire. Some days, are just harder than others. And I'm realizing, that that is okay. No one is perfect.

Today started out just like any other day does. At least I thought it would. I woke up to Tanner screaming hysterically. Not normal. And much earlier than they normally wake up. I ran into the room, where I found a crib, loaded with toys. But no sight of Tanner. I immediately started slinging things out of the crib, looking for my little booger. While Tucker, stood behind me, with a look of guilt plastered on his face. I eventually got to my sweaty, screaming baby out from underneath the pile of toys.

Breakfast went as usual, (Thank God!) and we went into the living room to watch a little bit of Tucker's favorite show ever, Bubble Guppies. Eventually, it was time for a nap, so I brought Tucker into his room. He climbed into his big boy bed, and laid down. I told him "It's time for a nap baby. Close your eyes and go to sleep." I covered him up, and left the room. Tanner and I crawled into my bed, and closed my eyes, hoping to find some peace snuggling with my little one.

Nope. Tanner wasn't having that. And little did I know, neither was Tuck.

Tanner refused to nap with me. And quite frankly, my feelings were hurt. It wasn't too long after trying to reason with my 9 month old, that I heard Tucker's door, opening and closely over and over again. I scooped up Tanner, and we headed to find Tucker, in his room where he had pulled all of his clean clothes out of his drawers, and sprinkled them across the room like confetti at a parade. Joy. My blood was boiling. For some reason, I was just not in my prime with patience. I sternly told Tucker to get back in his bed, grabbed the side of his crib that came off to make the toddler bed, and popped it back on the bed. Placed Tanner in his crib as he giggled at me, looked at both of them and said "Night, night!" and closed the door. I started to do some laundry, and clean the living room when I heard...

BANG. Silence. *cries*

I ran into the room, yet again, to find Tucker throwing things into Tanner's crib. I looked over to Tucker's bed, to find the side of the crib that I had just placed on the bed, broken, on the floor. He had broken out of the crib jail. And that is when I gave up on nap time.
During the time I've been typing this, Tucker ran up to me and said "Tanny's monkey!" and stuck out his little hands to me, full of stuffing. So, while I go sew up poor Mr. Monkey, say a prayer for peace and patience for me. Because I am in need of it. Whenever nap time does occur, I'm pulling out my bible, and reading and praying. I need some time of solitude.

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